HOW DO I?
How do I loose “Pirates of the Caribbean Scene It” to my brother-in-law, who didn’t even know the “pretty boy” who plays Will Turner? (I’m the piratemom dammit!)
How do I explain to the Pier One staff that I’m looking for decorative sticks that look “Tim Burton-ish”?
How do I have a “nice weekend” like the bank teller told me to, after just learning that we bounced six checks?
How do I burn down an extra house down without getting caught?
How do I stop myself from strangling my husband with the Wii power cord because he gets to play for hours when I am painting, cleaning, etc…?
How do I write a letter to Johnny Depp asking for my money back for “Sweeny Tod” plus nacho?
How do I put up with my tweenage son who has been taught to disrespect me, without drugs?
How do I tell crazy old guy at the Y to back off without being bitchy?
How do I spellcheck on blog.com because I am sick of reading my own blog ten times for spelling errors? (Yes, sister, some of us need that spell/grammer check)
